No matter if it was a mutual split or drama-filled mess, breakups can be tough. Even if you know deep down you don’t belong with your ex, you still might find yourself thinking about them or obsessing over what could have been. After all, you dedicated a lot of time and energy to that relationship, and ending it can sometimes make you feel a little lost in the world.
The good news is you can (and will!) eventually move on from your ex. And we’re here to help you achieve just that. In our guide below, we offer some of the best advice on getting over your ex, healing, and moving on.
If you don’t move on from your ex, you’ll find yourself spinning your wheels and stuck in the same exact place. However, when you take the steps toward moving on after a breakup, you can kick start the healing process, begin rediscovering yourself, and build back your confidence.
Finding closure after a breakup helps us move on from the relationship. It’s like closing a chapter and turning to the next page to start a new one.
However, it’s important to realize that you can’t rely on your ex to provide you with that relationship closure—you must find it yourself. Sure, sometimes you can have a productive conversation with your ex, tying up loose ends, but that’s not always the case.
The truth is that many breakups are messy and confusing, so they don’t end with a clean break. That’s why it’s on you to find that closure within yourself that can give you peace and the green light to move on.
Was your last relationship really all rainbows and butterflies? Probably not, but it’s easy to romanticize your relationship or fantasize about the “what ifs.”
The key to healing after a relationship ends is accepting it’s over. It’s realizing that your relationship has run its course and that it is no longer healthy for you to continue it. Avoid glorifying your not-so-great relationship, and don’t get hung up looking for ways it could have turned out differently. Remind yourself why the relationship ended, let yourself mourn the fact that it’s over, and allow this acceptance to give you the strength to begin your healing journey.
You want to get over your ex and move on from the relationship, but how exactly do you accomplish that? The following are some practical tips for getting over a breakup.
When figuring out how to move on from an ex, many of us think we must get over it as soon as possible, but that’s not always the healthiest approach. No matter if your relationship was three months or three years, you deserve the time and space to grieve.
Reserve a weekend to eat your favorite comfort foods, journal, and reflect on your relationship. Grab some tissues, let out your emotions, and allow yourself to feel angry, sad, and whatever else is stirring up inside you. However, once the weekend is over, it’s time to pull yourself together and focus on moving onward and upward.
First things first: Cut the communication. Being in constant contact won’t do you any favors when trying to get over an ex. Maybe you want to eventually get to where you can be friends, but now’s not the time to forge that relationship.
Right now, it’s essential to distance yourself from your ex, so you can focus on healing and moving on, and part of that involves cutting off communication.
Stop texting your ex, answering their phone calls, and meeting them for coffee. And yes, this includes social media, too. No good will come watching their Instagram stories or seeing their posts on Facebook.
When you don’t have constant reminders of your ex, you’ll have an easier time creating a new life where they’re not the center of your world.
You’ve been through a lot, so now is the time to focus on treating yourself with kindness. Self-care after a breakup is crucial. Go easy on yourself and fuel your mind, body, and spirit with positive things that support your emotional and mental health.
Avoid self-destructive activities, like partying, staying up too late, and drinking alcohol in excess. Instead, eat healthy foods that nourish your body, engage in gentle exercises, and enjoy calming activities like taking a bath and reading a book.
These healthy activities will help heal your heart and soul and put you on the road to recovery.
Now, let’s consider some ways to support your emotional recovery post-relationship.
Being single means now you can eat what you want to eat every night, watch what you want to watch on TV, and spend your weekends how you want to spend them. You get to do exactly what you want to do without compromising! And doesn’t it feel good?
Remember, the single life doesn’t have to be a sad and lonely existence. It can actually be quite liberating as you have the opportunity to think only about yourself and maybe even be a little selfish. Go on, spoil yourself with all the things you love, whether that’s tickets to the theater, a day at the spa, or a trip to the seaside. Also, re-engage in your favorite hobbies and make room for discovering new interests and passions. When you spend time on yourself and the things you love, you may find yourself fulfilled in ways you hadn’t been while dating your ex. So, use this time to reconnect with your mind and body and celebrate how far you’ve come.
While self-reflection and alone time are important elements on your journey toward personal growth after a breakup, it’s important to reconnect with your loved ones or focus on building a new support system.
Reach out to your friends and relatives and ask them for support—or even just a distraction. Plan a movie night, go on a walk together, or simply have a phone date and catch up. They love you no matter what and will be happy to be there for you. Don’t be afraid to tell them what you need, whether that’s a hug, chocolate cake, or a shoulder to cry on.
Don’t have any close friends? Start making new connections! This is the perfect time to begin meeting new platonic friends. Join a book club, hang out at that new coffee shop, accept your neighbor’s holiday party invite, and attend a cooking class to make new friendships.
Once you’ve given yourself time to process your feelings and come to terms with the breakup, begin thinking about ways to learn from your last relationship.
What were some things you appreciated about your relationship? And what were some things you wish you could change in the future? Were there warning signs or red flags you missed? Or, were there ways you could have been better or showed up for your partner in ways that you didn’t?
Reflecting on your past relationship can help you avoid making the same mistakes and pinpoint the values and qualities you want to seek in your next partner.
Now, how do you go about rebuilding confidence after a breakup? Setting new goals and trying new experiences are two effective ways to boost your self-esteem.
You know that feeling you get when you accomplish a new goal? You feel excited, empowered, and unstoppable. That’s exactly the feeling you need to harness to help build back your self-confidence!
Think about how you can challenge yourself and strive to reach new milestones. Maybe you want to run your first marathon, master a new art technique, learn to play the piano, or earn your Master’s degree. No matter how big or small the goal, having something to work toward and celebrate when you reach it can give you all the confidence in the world.
Getting outside your comfort zone and putting yourself in new and exciting situations is another effective way to build your confidence. Try things you’ve always wanted to do but never did because you were in a relationship or your ex didn’t like them. For example, go skydiving, learn to throw pottery, and sign up for those salsa dancing lessons your ex refused to take with you.
Embracing new opportunities can challenge and inspire you while helping you feel more confident in your own skin.
Over time, you’ll find yourself ready to start moving forward in life and opening yourself up to new relationships.
After enduring your last relationship, you’ve earned the right to be picky. Reflect on what you want in your next relationship and the kind of person who fits that criteria. What kind of characteristics and qualities do you want in a partner? Do you want someone trustworthy and reliable? Or do you want a witty, funny partner who doesn’t take themselves too seriously?
Make a list of all the qualities you want to prioritize. While the “perfect” person doesn’t exist, knowing what green flags and positive characteristics to look out for can help you gravitate toward someone who aligns with your preferences.
In addition to pinpointing some of the traits you want to see in a partner, consider your relationship needs, goals, and boundaries. What are your must-haves, and what are your deal breakers?
For instance, maybe you’ve established that you need someone serious about marrying and starting a family. Or, perhaps you’re done dealing with unfaithful, dishonest partners and need someone dependable and willing to commit to you. There are no wrong answers, as you are entitled to demand the caliber of relationship you desire.
Understanding what you expect from a partnership can help guide you in the right direction and prevent you from settling for less than you deserve.
If you’re ready for a fresh start after your breakup, it might be time to turn to Tawkify. We specialize in professional matchmaking and are eager to help you find your compatible match.
Our Tawkify matchmakers understand how difficult it can be to find your person, and that’s why we’ve created a system to help you meet eligible singles. We host one-on-one consultations to learn about your personal preferences and then hand-select viable matches from our database of relationship-ready singles. This personalized approach helps you meet singles who actually align with your relationship criteria. Contact us today to learn how we can help you on your journey to find love.
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