Forget the Ring: New Survey Reveals What Today’s Couples Actually Consider ‘Serious’

Public proposals, oversized rings, and viral relationship milestones once defined what it meant to be “serious.” But among today’s couples, commitment is increasingly expressed through quieter, more private choices that prioritize trust, stability, and shared responsibility over public validation.

To understand how couples are redefining commitment, Tawkify surveyed people in committed relationships about the milestones that matter most to them. We uncovered a growing fatigue with performative love and a strong preference for practical, deeply personal signals instead.

Key Takeaways

• Over 1 in 4 couples (28%) have made a commitment to keep their relationship off social media.

• 78% of couples have intentionally skipped posting major milestones, and satisfied couples have made more quiet commitments to each other than unsatisfied couples (7.5 vs. 5.8).

• Couples said the top quiet commitments are: being listed as an emergency contact or medical proxy (88%), sharing passcodes (80%), deleting dating apps (72%), and sharing phone locations (70%).

• 88% would rather their partner put $5,000 toward joint savings than an engagement ring, with Gen Z leading at 95%.

• 89% of Americans prefer a small wedding, elopement, or no wedding over a big wedding.

• 1 in 2 couples said opening a joint bank account feels as or more serious than getting engaged.

Quietly Committing to Each Other Is Trending

• Nearly half of couples (44%) said they have made 9 or more quiet commitments, while only 3% have made none.

• Gen X has the highest average number of quiet commitments at 8.0, followed by baby boomers (7.6), millennials (7.4), and Gen Z (6.2).

• Parents average more than two additional quiet commitments compared to non-parents (8.2 vs. 6.1).

• Cohabiting couples are more likely to skip posting milestones on social media than non-cohabiting couples (85% vs. 69%).

Financial Commitment Is Replacing Traditional Symbols

• Women are more likely than men to view a joint bank account as equally or more serious than engagement (55% vs. 41%).

• Very few respondents believe ring size reflects how much a partner loves them, with just 11% agreeing with this idea.

• Nearly all respondents would consider redirecting ring spending to something practical if it cost $2,500 or more.

• The top signals of commitment are buying a home (72%), being added to insurance or a will (43%), and getting engaged (39%).

• Most respondents would feel positive about a private proposal kept off social media, though women (29%) would be more likely than men (10%) to feel disappointment with that approach.

Relationship Privacy Is the New Normal

• Very few couples said they regularly post relationship milestones publicly (9%).

• Over 1 in 4 couples (28%) said they had explicitly agreed to keep their relationship off social media.

• Nearly half of respondents (45%) said they do not post about their relationship at all, and privacy is the top reason why (59%).

• Posting declines steadily by generation, with the oldest respondents sharing the least and the youngest sharing the most. Baby boomers are nearly twice as likely as Gen Z to keep their relationship off social media (62% vs. 33%).

• 75% of respondents said it was not important for a milestone to feel public or shareable.

• Social media pressure still causes friction:17% said they have felt pressure to post from partners, friends, or family, and 15% said they have argued with a partner about posting.

• Very few interpreted a lack of posting negatively: 52% saw it as a value for privacy, and only 3% saw it as a lack of seriousness.

• 89% favor a small wedding, elopement, or no wedding at all.

• Baby boomers are nearly twice as likely as Gen Z to prefer a courthouse wedding or elopement (36% vs. 21%).

Methodology

In January 2026, we surveyed 732 U.S. adults currently in committed relationships using CloudResearch Connect. To qualify, respondents had to reside in the United States and be in a relationship, married, or in a civil union/partnership. Both cohabiting and non-cohabiting couples were included. Percentages may not total 100% due to rounding or multiple-selection questions.

About Tawkify

Tawkify is a personalized matchmaking service designed for relationship-minded singles who are ready to invest in something real. By combining human insight with intentional dating, Tawkify helps clients build meaningful connections without the noise or pressure of dating apps, making space for the kind of quiet commitments that truly last.

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